Waiting

Right now, I'm waiting. Waiting to begin our adoption process. Before I inadvertently offend anyone, let me tag onto the end of that comment a few disclaimers.

I haven't been sitting back on my blessed assurance (that phrase never gets old for me) but I have truly been diligently working on fundraisers, craft festivals, and events to help bring awareness and the needed money to bring home our daughter. Lots of time and effort have been put into each event we have taken part in. And God has blessed us. People have been incredibly supportive and giving. I am very thankful for where we are and that progress has been made! Please don't think I am complaining or not grateful. I'm just sharing something that God spoke to my heart recently and making myself publicly accountable in the hopes that this will encourage others, and to remind myself.

During my prayer time recently, God told me to wait. You see, I had been striving really hard to raise these funds myself. In MY own power, and in MY time. And that's where the problem lies. This isn't about me. It's about Him. And it's about our daughter whose face I have only seen as a picture in my head. A child that God specifically called our family to adopt. A child who lives in a country far away from my own.

It's time to wait on God to do something miraculous. That being said, this goes against everything in me. "That's not how it works, God." That's what I want to say. Because in my human, worldly-wise mind, that isn't what society would say to do or tell me what to expect. Adoption costs money, folks. Without getting into the ethics or the reasons why this is so, let's just take it for the fact that it is. And yes, we realize that certain types of adoption (namely fostering or foster adoption) are far less costly. While fostering and foster adoption are incredible, this isn't what God called us to do. China is where a piece of our hearts are, and where our daughter, whose name we do not even yet know, lives. God called our family to do something that many would say is a pipe-dream, an improbability, an impossibility. How will we do it?

I like to think of myself as a realist. Not an optimist. Not a pessimist. A realist. I see things for what they are and follow problems through to their logical conclusions. This gives me the ability to think of a problem from start to finish and how I can solve it. I'm a planner. I'm all about the research, brainstorming, and implementation of a well thought-out plan. Heck, just typing that sentence made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (Why are you laughing? I'm not kidding, I promise you.) I'm not easily swayed by pessimistic thought and I also don't sit back and expect everything to work out exactly as I wish or hope. I like to think being a realist makes me a pretty well-rounded individual that can get things done.

But then God comes in and messes up everything. Dangit God. Why'd you have to go and do that? Mess up MY plan? Oh wait...this isn't my plan. This was your plan all along. Ouch. That one hurt.

So many scriptures about waiting are in the Bible. But we are human and we don't like to wait. We want to see it now, do it now, touch it now, feel it now.  As much as I like to think I know the big picture, or can see the plan from start to finish...I really can't. All I can see is what God allows me to, and from a very fixed point in time. I can't see all the possible ends to each decision I make. But he can. All I can do is do the best with the time that's been given to me. (Yeah, I totally just dropped some paraphrased Gandalf quotage on ya'll.)

Gandalf, blowing minds and dropping truth bombs since 1937

The road that you and I walk is infinite, of which we only see a part. Exciting? Yes. Scary? Undoubtedly. I've decided to take this time and direction from God to get my house in order. To wait and pray because this is the time I feel God is going to move on our behalf, if we are obedient. Reminder to self, right here and now: Wait. Pray. Wait some more. Pray a lot more. Let God handle it.

Family and friends, please join us in praying for God's timing through it all.

All Praise to God

I would be remiss if I didn't say that despite the good that came from the first fundraiser, I was still a little disappointed. Just knowing the long way we have to go, and the potential the event COULD have had, if not for the weather, kind of took the wind from my sails a bit.

That being said, a short time later, God stepped up (as He always does) and a dear friend pledged a donation towards our adoption for $1,000. PRAISE GOD you guys. This amount, combined with the sales already made via my social media and the Square fundraiser enables us to meet our first two financial goals.

Next step us the dreaded home study. This will cost at least $3,000 and will take several months to complete once it has begun. Please be on the look out for me at local craft fairs (upcoming for sure at the Laurens Holiday Fair!!) as well as social media. Also, if you would like to help in ANY way, feel free to message me on FB or via email: peacefuldweller@gmail.com.


And our You Care page:

https://www.youcaring.com/phil-byers-brooke-byers-444845

Thank you all again SO MUCH. We have made it this far because of YOUR support and prayers.

First Fundraiser!

(Special thanks to Ace J. for creating this AWESOME sign for us!!) 

We had our first fundraiser at Squealin on the Square this past weekend. Thanks to Hurricane Joaquin, the attendance was LOW. In fact, the lowest attendance I have ever seen at this event! Rain fell steadily throughout the day on Friday and it was a struggle to stay dry, let me tell you!!!

(Cutest kids around! But I might be biased...ignore the baby's missing sock b/c he threw it somewhere and we never found it. Gold star parenting right there folks!) 

The kids came out with Phil to show support and were excited to see us set up our table. They weren't able to stay though, due to the weather, so Daddy took them back home a short time after we finished setting up. 

After that, it was just me and my awesome sister (thanks Lisa!!) who sat out and braved the elements with me for the next 6-7 hours. Not gonna lie ya'll. It was cold. And wet. I have said it before and I will say it again: for friends and family who live up north, I don't know how you do it. It was 50 degrees and I was sure I was DYING. I had on 3 layers of clothes. Still frozen. 

Also, my hair tends to frizz and curl so I looked pretty awesome, as you can see. Hahaha! I have to laugh at myself. So, how did the night go? Let me break it down like this. 

The BAD news? As I said before, very few people showed up at the Square. I can't blame them. Many vendors cancelled or left far earlier than I did. Because of this, not much headway was made in donations/sales of items. Also...it was COLD. Oh and a fight between two young guys broke out right near my table. It was surreal seeing the police golf cart park beside me! I wish I could use emoticons right now to capture my reaction a bit better, but alas. Have I mentioned how cold I was? Oh, right. Yes. Ok, so moving on...

The GOOD news? I made a small profit! I am so very, very, VERY thankful for the kind souls who stopped at my table and ordered items or donated. Thank you! Because of you, we are closer to our goal! 

I also got the awesome opportunity to meet up with friends I have not seen in literally months, if not years. It was so great to catch up and share what God has done in our lives recently. In addition to this, I got to spread the word about adoption to several people who inquired about what the process is like. Even though we are at the very beginning and are new to this ourselves, it felt nice to be able to advocate and educate on the orphan crisis. 

Lastly, it touched my heart when a gentleman that I did not personally know came to my table and began to talk to me about our church's ministry. During our conversation, this man realized he knew my husband and yelled out to a few friends nearby, "Hey guys! Come over here. These are the people who used to run the Chord! They gave almost everything they had for God!" These awesome people then took their time to stand in the rain and pray for me. 

Let me be clear: I don't repeat this to toot my own horn or to give myself a pat on the back. I was truly HUMBLED that God used what we did to affect others in such a way. It brought tears to my eyes. The business has been closed for over 2 years now and still, people remember us and thank us for our work. Thank God, because it furthered his kingdom. If only those people knew my faults and my anger and frustration spent during those hard years. It isn't me folks. It's God. 

I don't know what it's like to be a pastor or a pastor's wife, but I like to think I have a small taste of understanding the joy of seeing your trials and tears be the water that saturates and tills the ground that the Holy Spirit uses to touch people's hearts and lives. That was by FAR the best part of the dreary day I spent.

As you can see, the GOOD far outweighed the BAD!!

For those who have been asking, here are some links to our You Care page. Every dollar raised will go towards our adoption fees:

https://www.youcaring.com/phil-byers-brooke-byers-444845

I also would like to personally thank the following:
Warrior Nations International Ministries: Our church. Your prayers and support has meant the world to us. Thank you for allowing us to use your NP status to save money on our booth and the privilege to share about the ministry with others. Their website: warriornations.org. Check out the live streaming of preaching and events as our pastor, Shawn Patrick Williams, travels internationally spreading the Gospel! 

Rob T., Ace J.: For the table and chair, and awesome awesome sauce signage!!

Lisa E.: Thanks to you and MyMy for braving the weather with me!! You guys rock. 

Arthur B., Matthew M.: For helping me break down and giving me a ride home! Bahaha! 

All who donated and purchased from our table! THANK YOU SO MUCH! 

Busy, Busy, Busy!

It's been pretty busy around here!! Kids have all started back at school and having a good year so far. Soon we will be going to PA to celebrate Aunt B's wedding and after that fall is on its way. I AM SO READY. Fall is my favorite season because the air is so crisp and fresh, the temperature is perfect, and the falling leaves are just beautiful.

Still plugging away on the phone cases. I have been so overwhelmed with thankfulness for all the support from friends and family. So far, I calculate we have made roughly $275 towards the adoption costs! There is still a long way to go, but this is a great start!

A lot of people have asked me about the process and about where we are at. So let me explain what's going on so far. We have pretty much decided on the agency we will be using. I've spoken with the director of the China program on numerous occasions and have done a lot of research so far to get a better idea of what we should be expecting during the process.

I have a rough outline of the expected costs and program fees which include travel and visas, lodging, governmental agency fees in the US and in China, etc. Roughly, we are looking at $26,000-32,000 in total cost. A lot of people ask me why the cost is so high. All I can say is that there is a substantial amount of red tape and paperwork involved and each time paperwork is processed, it comes with a fee. This doesn't speak to the travel costs and lodging while overseas and the visas and passports for ourselves and our adopted child.

Fortunately, there are a lot of programs in place to help offset adoption costs. We plan on applying for several grants and we even have a little bit of frequent flyer miles and such to use towards travel. And of course, I have been making and selling my artwork which has been a great start! While the cost is high, we are confident God will make a way and help us to raise most of the funds through selling products or fundraising and of course, grant programs. Please keep us in your prayers!

My general plan (and I say that lightly because I know all too well how God likes to change our plans) is to raise the initial $5,000 by January of 2016. This amount will cover our agency application fees, fingerprinting and background checks, home study, and parenting education that we are required to take. Most importantly, once the home study is complete and approved, we are then eligible to apply and receive adoption subsidy grants, which we will be pursuing as quickly as possible. We CANNOT apply for grants and subsidies until the home study is complete.

I will be sure to let everyone know when we have hit a goal for the fundraising process. As I mentioned earlier, we have made nearly $300 towards the initial goal of $500, which is our first goal. Super exciting!! Having small goals helps me to stay focused and encouraged.

I will be continuing to sell my custom made cell phone cases, paintings, and other artwork and over the next few months will be participating in holiday craft fairs and festivals. In addition, I have an Etsy shop open and have some of my work visible on Facebook. Thanks again for all your awesome support and prayers! We are so excited for this journey to begin and know God will be with us each step of the way.

Etsy Shop is Open!

Hey guys! Boy have I been BUSY. I never expected the custom phone cases to really take off like it has. Praise God!!

I have opened up my Etsy shop with my completed designs and have more on the way. I will try to keep everyone updated as I continue adding items. Here is the link:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/AdoptedOnes?ref=hdr_shop_menu

That's How Much You're Loved

So I have been working on crafting items to place in my online Etsy shop. I've been working in my free time (ha, right, "free time") on making items to sell. So far, I've got a couple of paintings I am trying to finish up and I've made some cell phone cases.

First off, BIG THANK YOU, for the overwhelming response to the cell phone cases!! I am amazed at the response I had from friends and family just on my Facebook page! Thank you all so, so, much. I have my work cut out for me this next week and I have a lot more cases on order. In case anyone is interested, I am selling them generally for $10 each (plus shipping for those who live out of state). Every bit is going towards the adoption.

Now, onto the real reason for my post today. 

I was reading some blogs online in the wee morning hours today (because my 15 month old still wakes at night, naturally). I found a really great family blog on their adoption from China. I love reading the stories of personal experiences! I saw on this blog something that really shook me. The following picture is not the one I saw personally, but is very nearly the same. 

Orphanage cribs 

Rows upon rows of cribs in an orphanage. So many cribs that they couldn't all fit in one camera angle shot. This wasn't the first time I'd seen this, but for some reason, it really shook me up. Though there were no children in the cribs, I knew that they were full of babies and children who do not have moms and dads, sisters or brothers, cousins or grandparents. They are alone. 

I felt very small. This road I am trying to walk has just begun, and I already see how much time, sacrifice, and expense will be involved.  And at the end of the journey, we will meet and welcome home our 6th child. But, she will be just one less. One in a sea of faces of SO many. So many still need homes. If it was physically possible to do, I would scoop them all up in my arms and love them and be their Mommy. Every child deserves a mom. A dad. A someone. 

I just shook my head and felt the tears burning my eyes and prayed, "God, I want them all." And then I felt him whisper back to my heart, "...so do I." Wow. Just one whisper from Abba broke me. I cried bitterly and deeply. As much compassion and love that my foolish, sinful heart feels for these little ones, oh how much God's heart feels it more. They are each so precious to Him. He doesn't want just one. He wants them all too. Each beautiful child that has ever breathed life either in their mother's womb or outside of it was crafted so beautifully and carefully by God. 

And He wants all of US. Orphan and widow. Mother and father. Slave and free. Haughty and reverent. There isn't one that He wants left behind. He wants to know each of us deeply and wants each of us to know Him in return. 

"Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'" (Luke 15:4b-6)

This is God's love for us. So deep that it cannot be understood, explained, or described. So beautiful that it physically hurts. A love so reckless and wild, so consuming that it forsakes everything else to pursue. THAT's how much you're loved. What a privilege to hear His voice and to take part in extending that love to one of his precious little ones. 

Why China

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this post. With kids starting school this past week and finishing up some work here at home, time kind of slipped away from me again, as it seems to do so often these days. 

First off, I want to thank everyone for the positive response we've received regarding our choice to adopt. I have received so many encouraging messages and questions, and even got to share a little bit about what led us here privately. 

As I said before, I really wanted a separate post for the full explanation of what led us to adopt from China and how we made the decision to choose this country. 

For us, the story starts back on April 5, 2008. Phil and I were really blessed to be able to attend The Call (a prayer conference that's held all over the United States every year in different locations) in Montgomery, Alabama. We were only two of 12,000 people who got to attend this awesome time of prayer and fellowship that also happened to take place on the 40th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s death. It was an AMAZING experience to pray beside our brothers and sisters in Christ for Unity and healing in our nation. In light of all the news of racial divide lately in our country, I like to think back to that day where all races were gathered together and were ONE in the body of Christ. We can do this, guys. 

Since there were so many people at the event, I ended up getting separated from Phil during a break and we literally couldn't find each other. I remember standing in the back of the auditorium when one of the speakers took the stage and began talking about the importance and calling of adoption. My heart was stirred inside of me, as this had been a topic Phil and I had talked about briefly before we had even gotten married. As I shared before, my mom is an adoptee. They had a call for anyone interested in adopting to come forward. As I recall, they were discussing adoption from the US, and specifically Alabama state residents. 

I felt a little deflated because I remember thinking, "Well, I don't live here in AL." And besides that, I didn't even know where my husband was at the time. Come to find out, Phil had felt the same stirring in his own spirit. I have often wondered if we'd have just met each other in the smaller group if we'd both responded at the time. 

Regardless, on the way home we kept discussing adoption. And we were excited!! We both felt strongly God had called us to this, but we didn't know where to begin. When I got home, I contacted Bethany Christian Services (a large adoption agency) and asked to receive information on their adoption programs. The more we looked it over and thought about it, the more we felt called to International adoption. I circled several programs I was interested in. 

I began praying about it and God gave me a dream shortly after in which I saw myself painting a tree branch. On that branch I could see a ladybug crawling. I knew this dream was something God had given me for direction, because He's always spoken to me through this sort of thing. 

A bit later (I can't remember how long it was), I came across adoption blogs of people who'd adopted from China. And I saw ladybugs on some of these sites. I found out that ladybugs are a symbol of adoption in China! And during prayer, God revealed to me that the tree branch represented a new off-shoot on our family tree. Isn't God amazing? He's the ultimate artist, choosing that similarity between He and I to speak to me. God had given me direction and it just took me a little while to understand it. 

So China was on my heart after that. I shared all this with Phil at the time. Afterwards, we went to an informational meeting in Greenville with another adoption agency and learned more about the process. I remember looking in the eyes of several of the attendees there, who looked desperate to have the privilege to become parents and ready to adopt. I felt a little out of place, and a little guilty to be honest, when we introduced ourselves because we were blessed already with two biological children at that time. Despite this, we were welcomed warmly. In the end, we found out that we were too young to adopt from China, which made me really confused and sad to be honest! The minimum age requirements to even begin the process was 30. At the time, I was only 27. Meaning that, at minimum, we had to wait 3 years to even think about starting this process. 

So between 2008 and 2015, God brought to us new dreams and experiences. I gave birth to 3 more biological children. I had 2 miscarriages. We began a business/ministry and poured our hearts into it. We experienced hurt and rejection in the church. We experienced financial loss. We experienced joy at watching the ministry we birthed lead people to salvation, deliverance, and healing. We felt the pain and joy of closing the chapter in our lives that led us from our 20s into our 30s. And finally, we experienced supernatural restoration and entered into a time of rest. 

I like to think of those years as molding years. Years of tremendous growth and change. Years that we were on the potter's wheel. God took the time to withdraw from us what needed to be removed and shaped us more closely into who and what we needed to be. And the shaping never ends! We're just spinning now as he gently shapes us for the next stage of life that we're on. 

God gently reminded me of our plans to adopt. Plans that I had all but abandoned years ago. And I realized that the roadblocks that had been there before: age limitations, finances, and even family size, no longer existed.  In the years that had passed, China had removed or revised some of the other restrictions in place for couples to adopt from their country. Previously, even the current size of our family would've restricted us from adopting there. As it turns out, December of 2014 removed that road block as well. 

That's not to say that this journey will not be without its obstacles. Adoption, no matter if it is domestic or international, is time consuming and expensive. There are literally mountains of paperwork and red tape that we must wade through. Every aspect of our lives will be examined and scrutinized by others. I am sure it will be quite uncomfortable.

Some will not understand why we would choose to do this. Comments will be made concerning the choice to adopt a child with special needs (94-98% of children in orphanages in China have been classified as special needs...ranging from minor to severe). Some will question the desire to pursue a program in which money must be fundraised to make possible. 

My answer is this: God called us here. And if He called us, how can we not answer? I don't want to have any regrets in my life about responding to His voice. How will we do it? I don't have a clue! Isn't that great? Ha! Kind of like how God called Abraham to pack up all his stuff and start walking without telling him specifically how he was going to get there. I know I'm going where God called me to go, but I don't know the details just yet. And I don't have to. 

1 Thessalonians 5:24: "The one who called you is faithful, and He will do it." I'm so glad I don't have to know all the details right up front. We're not really in control of those details anyway. All we have to do is follow. And that is a comforting thought.